REGNUS: The Random Text Scripting Language, for Java, Windows, DOS, PHP, VB6, QB4.5 and the Web!

Charles Crowe, known by many as Charles the No good, was an almost loud man. Having been brought up in the clumsy depths of Iran by his husband, he was well used to righteousness. But even Charles was not prepared for the day when the IRA came for him. Despite his best efforts, he was captured and forced to do his new masters' bidding. His first mission was to spit on the HQ of the government of New Zealand in Spain. Having proven himself in this task, he was sent to Never-Never Land, where he tortured Venus, saving many Microsoft employees on the way. He finally met his match, however, when ordered to cause trouble for Peter Trump, the head of the Belgian Foreign Legion. Peter easily defeated him, and, having retired from active service, he spent the rest of his days living in a forest before finally dying of wounds inflicted by an enraged donkey in 1943.
Generated by the Regnus script Something Completely Different, by Ryan J. Bury

Regnus is a simple but powerful scripting language for generating random text. Some example applications of the language might be:

To control or generate random content on a website
To write random stories, prose, or even poetry
To create humorous comments, insults or slanders on the fly
To provide random speech for an automated agent such as an IRC bot
To instantly generate detailed random encounter tables in an RPG
To create random challenges or results in a game
To generate controlled random data for a research project
To create randomised statistical information
To generate "lorem ipsum" content to test page layouts
To generate random nonsense just for fun!

Regnus parsers are available for many different platforms, including the Java Platform, Windows, DOS, and PHP, and learning to write your own Regnus scripts is as simple as following the simple step-by-step tutorial. A user forum is also availble for you to ask questions and share advice with other users, and post your scripts and ideas!